Hedwig Buckbeak Potter, you were named after some hella winged animals hella rad high five son
I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest. my whole life so far is leading up to that moment
"cutie" and "babe" are overrated pet names for your significant other. try "leader of thunderclan" or "the fire that saved the clan" instead
Client: Do you do lemonade?
Me: Do we do… lemonade?
Client: Yes, I was told you do that here.
Me: I’m sorry, this is a graphics and print shop.
Client: I know that. I’m not an idiot.
Me: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to -
Client: Look If you can’t lemonade these papers for me then I’ll go somewhere else!
Me: Do you mean… laminate?
our next 44 presidents should be women
Your next 44 presidents should be people who can responsibly lead your country with minimal fuck ups regardless of gender
Damn son amen
GUYS GUYS GUYS
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY WAS LITERALLY WRITTEN BY A FEMALE ROCKET SCIENTIST
SHE’S THE FIRST WOMAN TO EVER WRITE A MARVEL MOVIE
WHY IS THIS NOT GETTING TALKED ABOUT
joseph fink is not even in the vicinity of fucking around on twitter today
My Mom just accidentally prematurely sent an email to an accounting firm… It was supposed to say ‘I am afraid that we will have to postpone our meeting”
but she hit send when all it said was
I am afraid
THIS POS T GETS ME EVEYRTIME
EVERYONE STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING! A theatre accidentally played Rise Of The Guardians instead of Guardians Of The Galaxy.
This has officially made my night. Oh my god.
RISE OF THE GUARDIAN FANDOM RISE!!!!
OMG… I’m surprised the theatre still had the movie though!
People must’ve already gotten suspicious as the Dreamworks logo appeared, instead of Marvel…
Who has the greatest costume? (x)
Your favorite band according to the starsigns
- Aries - Fall Out Boy
- Taurus - Fall Out Boy
- Gemini - Fall Out Boy
- Cancer - Fall Out Boy
- Leo - Fall Out Boy
- Virgo - Fall Out Boy
- Libra - Fall Out Boy
- Scorpio - Patrick Stump and the Fall Down Guys
- Sagittarius - A bunch of emos
- Capricorn - Maybe P!ATD but mostly Fall Out Boy
- Aquarius - Fall Out Boy
- Pisces - Pizza
do not call me daddy in bed. i have had beers with your father. he is a nice man. do not get me involved.
Okay but be read for me to call you the name of whatever fictional character or celebrity I am obsessed with and you resemble the most.
mmm fuck me popeye